El carro

This is a eulogy. For my car...

3,720 days.

That is an estimate of how many days I've been the owner and driver of a maroon 1999 Toyota Camry.  I am fairly certain it's accurate to within 10 days. Almost 4,000 days. That's a long time. Just over 10 years. I said goodbye to it today and got surprisingly emotional about a car I've secretly been wishing would break down for many, many years. It's been a perfect love/hate, though, because I've also been so so thankful that it didn't break down. Especially during my difficult and financially tight single-mother years.

That car has been my trusty sidekick through so many momentous life occasions. I can tell you about the big fiasco it took to get it. Thomas and I were driving a junky Ford wagon that was on it's last leg (wheel?). I wanted something dependable that would last us through what was soon going to be our family's exciting adventure...a move to California and dental school. There was no way we would be able to buy a car in dental school and we had a little money socked away from Thomas' road paving days. Thomas wanted a Ford sedan. I'm a definite Japanese car aficionado and really wanted a Camry from our local Toyota dealer. This caused a lot of contention between Thomas and I because the Camry was considerably more money. Eventually Thomas consented. I recall being very proud of my haggling skills when I talked the car salesman down to $12,000 (from what I don't remember). He pointed down to Ana (then 2 or 3) and said that it was a great car and that it she would be able to drive it someday. I looked down at her and thought, "Uh, no...she'll NEVER be old enough to drive..."

This picture was taken around the time we purchased the car.

It was right around Thanksgiving and Thomas and I skipped dinner and left the girls behind to drive to Canada where he was booked to sing at a wedding. I felt so luxurious in my pimpin' new ride.

That good little car let Lily sit her cute, chubby buns on it's seat and toted her to get her first glasses at 18 months...

And to give Grandma Jane our last hugs.

The next summer we towed that Camry to Los Angeles behind a U-Haul full of our belongings. We didn't have a home yet, we just left the truck filled with everything we owned and parked at a friend's house while we drove the Camry around looking for an apartment. I've since learned that you DON'T just leave a loaded moving truck sitting around in L.A. for thieves and thugs to plunder. Because they will. Thankfully, ours wasn't disturbed and we soon found ourselves a place to call home.

That Camry motored us around L.A. and helped to keep us entertained, enlightened, educated, fed, etc. It was such a trooper. Never needed a lick of work done. In fact, last year I took it to a dealership and they gave me a long list of things it needed to have done...$3,000 worth. I gave the service man a stern talking to (rare for me) and told him that, "eight years ago another man at another dealership gave me a similar list and I didn't do one single thing on it and it was still running like a dream, so is any of this really necessary???"

That car took Ana and I to see Rodin's Les Bourgoise de Callais at the Norton Simon in Pasadena...

And repeatedly took Lily to her ballet lessons...

see that little turkey screaming randomly on the right?

And happily transported us to the beach at least weekly...

And Disneyland at least monthly....

And patiently waited under our yellow apartment while we played and slept and grew (physically, emotionally, etc) in our house above.

And when it was time to leave that yellow apartment, it faithfully carried Ana, Lily and I to our next home in Idaho. Putting our bags in the trunk and buckling the kids in the car that day is an experience I will never forget. So much fear, anxiety, excitement and longing accompanied me on that drive.

Soon after, another moving truck showed up that had been packed by Thomas and sent to us for our life's new chapter. Interesting note: when I moved to Idaho and became the bread winner for my little family, the Camry had one -ONE- payment left. Best $215 I ever spent!

On this day, just a couple weeks later, the Camry had safely navigated Rexburg's treacherously icy roads so we could see our new little Edie, who had just been delivered by Grandpa Z.

I was less than thrilled to be experiencing Rexburg winters again, especially without a garage for my car to escape the wrath of the frequent Rexburg blizzards. Every morning I would mutter obscenities as I scraped snow and ice from windows and some of my deepest longings were that I would be able to afford a car with a remote starter on it. Or at least have a man to scrape the windows for me. Every now and then I would emerge from my apartment for early morning classes to find them scraped...by who I never discovered, but it was much appreciated.

For as wretched as Rexburg winters are, the summers are glorious. We would often move the Camry so the girls had plenty of space in which to skate around the parking lot. 

The only things the Camry ever required were an occasional oil change and tire rotation. It was such a champ and performed flawlessly. I was so grateful to have a dependable car to carry us to work, school and play. And family camping trips to West Yellowstone.

Despite my appreciation for my car, it was around this time that I started having covetous thoughts of other cars. It had nothing to do with my car's performance...it was just the materialistic side of me wanting an upgrade. Newer cars had such fancier gadgets and better design. Sigh. I chose to be grateful that I didn't have a car payment and could provide for my girls.

Before long,  I graduated from BYU-Idaho and felt my gut telling me it was time to relocate. This time to Salt Lake City. 

We invited all the girl's friends to a going away party at Great Grandpa Z's pool before we loaded up the Camry and the moving truck for our next adventure.

Andy drove the truck for me (thanks again, Andy...that was awfully nice of you) and I followed in the Camry. I don't cry much, but I remember pulling off the freeway and not being able to hold back my tears. I was so nervous to be stepping -once again- out of my comfort zone and embarking on a new and unknown journey. I was scared to death. In Rexburg I was near my mom and, well, living is just easy and familiar there. Utah was going to ask so much more of me and I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to deliver. Tears spilled out on the one mile stretch of road from the I-80 to my new house under Mount Olympus, but I quickly dried them away before Andy and my dad could see them. When I do cry it's in private!

There happened to be a neighborhood party in our new digs just a day or two after we arrived.

What a remarkable experience our new living arrangement was. We were in a duplex and shared the abode with some fantastic people who would become life long friends and play a monumental role in what would eventually become my NEXT journey (details later). These neighbors happened to have two girls the same ages as my girls. Clandestiny!

School started just days later. See the Camry waiting dutifully back there for me to call on it again?

In SLC, I got a job that I really detested, but Natalie, my life long best friend worked with me and we spent lots of time driving around together on sales calls in our cars. I'm awfully glad my car can't disclose the details of the conversations from those days!! Secrets, embarrassments, heartaches, loud laughter. Yep. glad they'll stay on the down low. And that that job didn't last too long.

We lived close enough to my Dad and Kim to be able to walk during those days, though we more frequently arrived by car. 

I'm so grateful we were able to spend some time with my Grandma Polly during this time. I put zillions of miles on the Camry because I lived about 30 miles away from my job, which if you're good at math, you know means 60+ miles a day. Still, only an oil change and a new set of tires every so often. Sometimes I would stop at Grandma Polly's on my way home from work and visit with her. I loved quizzing her about her life. She would often tell me the same stories over and over, but I didn't mind. 

Besides lots of driving to and from work, the Camry took us back up to Rexburg frequently for New Years parties hosted by Grandma Z...

And heavenly summer days...

And an occasional trip to Leslie's in Boise.

I recall telling the girls to get in the car one fall afternoon and when I went out a few minutes later, I couldn't find them anywhere. I was so puzzled. Then they popped out of the recycling bin and about put me in cardiac arrest.

About this time the fine father of the downstairs neighbors told me about a friend and colleague of his who he thought would be a perfect match for me. He was a handsome, romantic artist. Yup! Perfect for me! And guess what he drove? You got it! A Camry. An older and more hammered version of my car! 

By our third date, there was absolutely no question in my mind that he was going to by my husband. Soon after, his Camry broke down and he purchased another Toyota, but this time a Sequoia. I quickly commandeered it. He was happy to upgrade from his 1996 Camry to my '99. And not long after that...adventure called again. Another moving truck. This time our two apartments were loaded into a truck. Tod followed it in my Camry and Leslie and I hauled our four girls down in the Sequoia. (Thanks again for helping me move, Les. That was awfully nice of you).

That same week the beach found us arriving in our two Toyotas and prancing to our wedding. Out in that parking lot somewhere was my happy little Camry.

With my new life, the bigger car was necessary. I was frequently toting children and their friends around Los Angeles. The Camry no longer suited my needs, but was perfect for Tod to drive to work on the days he didn't ride his bike or carpool.

Last week my Camry broke down. There was a miscommunication between Tod & I about who was responsible for the maintenance on the car and subsequently it didn't get done. That little champ went nearly 2 years without an oil change. : /  And it died. A new engine would be required to keep the car running, but an engine will cost more than the car is worth, so we decided it was time to bid her farewell. So unfortunate that we didn't keep it properly maintained because if we had, that sales man would have called it right...Ana was going to inherit the Camry in 3 years.

I drove to the impound lot today to take care of the paperwork (it was towed from the place where it broke down). I was surprised to feel tears well up as I cleared out my belongings. It still had mix tapes in it from way back in the days when you made mix tapes!! I had to explain to Ana what blank tapes were and why we used them. She got a kick out of that. I cried looking at cds we'll never listen to again, but are reminiscent of our past...Disney songs, Primary songs, etc. 

There have been so many times when I was secretly hoping the car would die so I could get something fancier. There have been so many times I wanted to kiss the car for performing so well for me. Today was inevitable, but I wasn't prepared for the flood of grief I would have in saying goodbye to the car. And all the memories it holds. I've been driving it since Lily was a baby. That car has loyally accompanied me through so many of my life's crazy turns. I took one last picture of it.

Appropriately, it's next door neighbor was an Adaam's family/hearse-ish type thing.

Like I said, I cry way too infrequently, and when I do it's usually in private. I had to share my tears with you today, though. It just felt appropriate to have a small memorial service for the Camry and the hundreds of thousands of miles of mountains, valleys, curves, sharp turns and long, monotonous stretches it escorted us through.

Goodbye you stinky (literally, I don't know what spilled in that back seat, but it was rank), dependable, dated, lackluster, glorious automobile!!!

This wasn't actually a eulogy for my car. The car was a only a conglomeration of metal, machinery and beige upholstery. This is really a memorial service to my young mother years, many years of heartache and happiness, and a fond farewell to the babies my children used to be.

Sob.

Photo documentation of my children's evolution during the Camry years: